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I would like opinions on a manga I may make one day.
Poll: On a scale of one to ten (ten for excellent of course), how well do you think this manga would rate in terms of popularity? 1 (barely/not looked at and decided to be a piece of &$&#F#) 25% [ 8 ] 2 (disliked a lot) 3% [ 1 ] 3 (disliked) 6% [ 2 ] 4 (not great) 3% [ 1 ] 5 (mediocre/better than nothing) 0% [ 0 ] 6 (slightly interesting;almost/barely worth reading) 16% [ 5 ] 7 (quite interesting, holds attention;worth reading) 25% [ 8 ] 8 (very good/interesting; a good read for sure) 9% [ 3 ] 9 (really really good and super interesting; page turner) 9% [ 3 ] Total Votes : 31
Author	Message
Posted on Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:26 pm
Psi_Ninja Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 334	bladeslinger wrote: Oh my god it's a.....Psi_Ninja!!! Haha, ya, i forgot to put that one in my post. I was gonna, but i just forgot. Leave it to GWN to make a comic about me....
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Posted on Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:55 pm
Tankdown Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 688	derricktheone wrote: ....You want more ideas let me know...I have quite an imagination Sounds like you do, makes me want to tell one of my stories when I used to role play with friends on warcraft(call me a nerd I don't care...bring it on) I thought it over some and I think the boy should be lost in the forest in for months or even a year or two. In the forest he learns a little about psi from watching the actions of the animals and the feel of nature. But then again some of derricktheone ideas and pretty great also maybe a mixure of the two?
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:11 am
derricktheone Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 356	Good idea tankdown....He becomes secluded from society..I was thinking mabye his cryo powers were so strong when he 1st discovered them (Like before) he not only froze water but all kinds of plant life around him...everything icy ..Is it possible to freeze chlorophyll?...I think so... P.S This guys going to make millions off our ideas
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:04 am
GreatWhiteNinja Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 429	derricktheone wrote: Good idea tankdown....He becomes secluded from society..I was thinking mabye his cryo powers were so strong when he 1st discovered them (Like before) he not only froze water but all kinds of plant life around him...everything icy ..Is it possible to freeze chlorophyll?...I think so... P.S This guys going to make millions off our ideas ! Muhahahahaha !!! Yes I will make millions!!! Lol. Just screwing with ya. Perhaps I can split profits with the ones who are most involved and serious about helping me with my story . *when he finishes the first volume he gives everyone their pay checks. Each person gets 2.3 cents because there're 126 employees() * Something like that could happen. I need to only let a few into my inner circle so we can make more money ! BTW, I think chlorophyll probably can be frozen (unless it has a really low freezing temperature). And speaking of freezing, I was a matter of fact going to make cryokinesis Ushima's most powerful psionic talent. You are indeed worthy of being a member of my crew for you have seemingly read my mind (i.e. the genre of my manga being psionically orientated). Anyway, about your other post about your critisizing me, you're right, I did say the things about not holding back . My words really turned around and bit me in the ass . And you're also right about tankdown's idea. It is brilliant. It fits right in place. It would explain Ushima's quiet and depressed personality. He picks up a RELATIVELY outgoing personality from his ninja instructor, but the forest's affect on him will still show. And of course, as a result of being in the forest for so long his senses and killing instinct (he'll be a cold blooded killer ; at least to those who try to kill him) will be heightened, he'll be a good survivor/hunter, a master of stealth, and will appreciate and enjoy nature . I'd say one or two good years in the forest will do. And, as for him unlocking his abilities through traumatic experiences, that could work too. Example: When he flees from his parent's "killers" he could automatically use cryokinesis to try to kill them at a dead end or something. The ice shards would instantly kill run and critically wound the other (of whom Ushima will encounter years later). Other examples will include moments where he's really pissed off or he has to fight off animals in the forest or something. But for the most part he'll have to work hard to consciously control his abilities. And he'll figure out more effective ways of utilizing his powers by studying his own automatic psionic experiences. I myself have kind of done this at work with something I call call "remote feeling", but I'll go into that on another thread. There is another thing about Ushima that I haven't mentioned yet. And it does play an important role in the story. Unfortunately, I don't consider that original because it seems a bit like the nine-tailed fox thing in Naruto except more advanced and commonly used. I'll go into that another time. And I'll also go into something about the swords Ushima will use. Somefatguy argued with me about a certain sword Ushima will use. It's the way it comes to be that he doesn't agree with. I'll post it here later and see what you guys think . P.S. Sorry for the long post .
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:08 am
somefatguy Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 1187	GreatWhiteNinja wrote: Somefatguy argued with me about a certain sword Ushima will use. It's the way it comes to be that he doesn't agree with. I'll post it here later and see what you guys think . Yeah, you tell them, I think they sould agree with my idea. But I do see your point. Your idea gives the sword a life of it's own and my idea gives Ushima a special ability that no one else can do.
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:20 pm
GreatWhiteNinja Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 429	somefatguy wrote: GreatWhiteNinja wrote: Somefatguy argued with me about a certain sword Ushima will use. It's the way it comes to be that he doesn't agree with. I'll post it here later and see what you guys think. Yeah, you tell them, I think they sould agree with my idea. But I do see your point. Your idea gives the sword a life of it's own and my idea gives Ushima a special ability that no one else can do. You have a point too. They both kind of sound good now. TO EVERYONE: Here are the two ways the energy (psi) sword will be formed: 1. SFG's Simpler Idea- His (I actually thought it was my idea but he claims to have concieved it; I concieved the idea of psi weapons period in the first place ) idea was for Ushima to make an almost indestructable sword that he will make with his own psi (every time he needs it maybe; to make it look cool!). 2. My Complex One- This one kind of has a history to it : Before Ushima's time there was a grand master ninja (The highest ranking ninja who leads all of the different ninja clans located throughout Japan; he's like the Hokage of the Hokages!!) who forged a brilliant and amazing sword out of psi. He programmed an extremely advanced (almost impossible ) construct into the handle of the sword. This is how the sword works- 1. In it's original form the sword only consists of a HOLLOW psi handle. 2. If any unprotected body touches the handle it will keep sucking psi out of you (The master made it this way so that it will suck the life force out of people enabling only the strongest to wield his masterpiece .) to form the blade until it reaches its programmed and true length. 3. If you don't have enough psi in your body to complete the blade, you will die if you don't let go !! 4. If you can manage to energize the sword to its true length it will be bound to your hands only. What I mean is it will only let you wield it. If you are not its current master it will suck the life out of you (instantly ) and add it to the swords blade to make it stronger. 5. The sword will only fail to recognize its master when he/she either dies or gives it the kill command (which only makes the blade disappear, and it can then find another master ; the kill command will probably be a short awesome sounding poem or something ) 6. The sword will also have a steel sheath specially programmed into the construct: when the sword's master unsheaths the sword most of the blade will be pushed and compacted into the handle leaving enough of the blade left to make for a dagger like sheath. And obviously the blade will come out of its tiny sheath in full size. Okay, that's the explanation of the construct. Now here's a brief history and its role in the manga... Many ninjas tried to "complete" the sword (they tried to do this after the grand master's mysterious disappearance **; his disappearance is explained far into the storyline and the sword is the only thing found) but none of them could do it and some arrogant idiots even died in the process . After a few deaths the sword became forbidden and was locked away and put on display as the "masterless sword". Ushima, however, was given a chance to restore the sword to its former glory by his own master. The reason his master lets him perform this forbidden act is because Ushima reveals in a test of psionic endurance that he has more psi in his body than any ninja or lead ninja ever born! The master concludes that Ushima probably has the same if not more energy and will power than the Grand Master himself!! Ushima obviously restores the sword to its full length and struggles a bit towards the end but prevails with his stubborn attitude and will to live. The master is of course awestruck and proud of Ushima and declares him the new master of the sword. Ushima uses the sword when the going gets tough. He mostly uses it for quick stealth attacks that kill instantly. But some of his enemies can either sense it, judge where it is, or even see it (Ushima, his master, and the Grand Master are all capable of seeing energy). He will then just fight head on and utilize its ability to emit bursts of deadly psi or just suck the life out of his enemies by touching them with it. Ushima does have a normal sword though. It's a sword coated with an extremely dense barrier of psi around the razor sharp blade which makes it capable of cutting through anything (the energy sword can also cut through anything). These two swords are actually a set created by the Grand Master. He requested that one can only possess the other sword if he/she can wield the energy sword. So Ushima was awarded this sword after becoming the energy swords master. What makes the psi coated sword special is the fact that is can conduct electricity and heat (hint: used for powerful psi attacks involving lightning or fire ) without taking damage. So, in their own way, they both have amazing qualities that make them gods among swords. Shit this post is too long. Sorry everybody. Another time I will tell you all about Ushima's "other side".
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:33 pm
Psi_Ninja Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 334	here is GWN's drawing
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:21 pm
somefatguy Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 1187	Oh cool! You got it up, thanks Psi_Ninja.
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Posted on Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:23 pm
derricktheone Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 356	Wow you really thought up a lot of stuff on this sword...well I'd have to say your idea is better only because if it's supposed to be one of the best swords ever and also be indestructible, your guy just learned to use his abilities and I don't think he'd be strong, or skilled enough to make it yet (unless it's YEARS after trainning)....On the other hand I'd prefer to do something completely different and give him some kind of very unique weapon based on his very powerful and unique abilities ( He can collect and freeze the water condensation in the air, onto his fists, and do some serious hand to hand combat damage..or mabye form anything with that technique i.e sword, mace, spear, shield...and if theres actually liquid water around then his serious weapons come out .....Don't know if I want to share these ones with you ...I think mabye me and tankdown should start our own manga lol...I like creating fictional stuff like this P.S I want my royalties greatwhite ...not bad pic either....I'm pretty good at drawing...Think I'll go draw one of my own...Post it in a few days
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:44 am
GreatWhiteNinja Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 429	derricktheone wrote: Wow you really thought up a lot of stuff on this sword...well I'd have to say your idea is better only because if it's supposed to be one of the best swords ever and also be indestructible, your guy just learned to use his abilities and I don't think he'd be strong, or skilled enough to make it yet (unless it's YEARS after trainning) He WILL have years of training before he can wield that sword (the sword will be like a sign of his manhood ; it will also be given to him around the time he goes on his first mission) and I'll probably even show sneak peeks and flashbacks of his struggles to master his abilities and become stronger in general: physically, mentally, and psionically! derricktheone wrote: ....On the other hand I'd prefer to do something completely different and give him some kind of very unique weapon based on his very powerful and unique abilities ( He can collect and freeze the water condensation in the air, onto his fists, and do some serious hand to hand combat damage..or mabye form anything with that technique i.e sword, mace, spear, shield...and if theres actually liquid water around then his serious weapons come out Forming weapons out of ice could be a signature move but ice does break (ice weapons could be used for stabbing); I want to make it more realistic. I'd rather give him fire weapons . And water weapons that use their surface tension to cut through anything (not to mention he gets his enemies wet ! (lol)) and wind weapons that blow his enemies away, literally!! And last but not least there would be LIGHTNING WEAPONS!!!! He could probably harpoon a copper wire onto his enemy and use a thick rubber glove (the handle would be rubber too) to place the wire on the charged sword and let 'er rip. The lightning and fire sword attacks could be done with his psi coated sword if he doesn't have time to make a psi crafted () fire or lightning sword. derricktheone wrote: .....Don't know if I want to share these ones with you ...I think mabye me and tankdown should start our own manga lol...I like creating fictional stuff like this P.S I want my royalties greatwhite ...not bad pic either....I'm pretty good at drawing...Think I'll go draw one of my own...Post it in a few days Hmmm. Seeing my picture on here embarasses me. *mutters under his breath: "I still shoud have worked on it more"* The arms and hands seem messed up and he looks to stiff. Not to mention I put his leg back too far. I'm my own critic . I think next time I get one on here it will be better and more thought out. Close up pictures usually look the best. I intend to do a dramatic close up for my next picture. And unfortunately, the drawing displayed here would have looked noticably better (in the face) if I didn't erase the original head. He looked like he was looking for the next weak victim to slaughter muhahahahahaha!!! And I'm serious too, he really looked like he was LOOKING for something to kill! Well you may hear from me later today. I'd like to discuss Ushima's "other side". But I will have to spread out the things I discuss because I'm usually pressured to get home work out of the way . See you later.
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 1:50 pm
Psi_Ninja Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 334	somefatguy wrote: Oh cool! You got it up, thanks Psi_Ninja. No problem. If anyone needs me to post a picture online for them, email it to me.
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 3:48 pm
GreatWhiteNinja Joined: 16 Feb 2006 Posts: 429	Thankyou, Psi_Ninja. I appreciate your efforts. *twiddles his fingers menacingly*: Perhaps you could join my work force, *cough*-minimum wage-*cough* . (lol.) My next drawing should be better and more worth your time. But beware, it will be very bloody and gory . The picture will depict what happens when Ushima gets a little "over enthusiastic" about his "work" (). If things go well I may even be able to get it to you today. And hopefully I'll at least be able to get it to you tomorrow. I must use my time wisely. I still have grades to worry about. TO EVERYONE: Now I will discuss Ushima's "other side". But first, a little heads up. This "split personality" thing with Ushima is entirely optional and doesn't necessarily ruin the story if it's taken away. If any of you feel it will ruin the story's popularity please tell me. Now here it is- I got the main idea from a friend on this website and I altered it to my liking for the story to limit its potential. I based it off of kundalini for any of you who know what that is. I won't go into it unless you PM me. In the story, Ushima's final lesson is a special one that his master has only taught one student. His master teaches him a technique that allows him to transform into his "angel form" (I know, sounds corny; perhaps I can find another word for it) as I like to call it. Now this is wierd but please hear me out: in angel form, a person is granted his/her true potential and almost limitless physical and psychic power. It's kind of like unlocking 100% brain capacity. The other good/bad part of it is this: If you are TRULY an evil person (whether you show it or not) your clothing (I know, corny again; if you guys want you can just provide refinements/suggestions for this whole thing) will be jet black and you will glow with a constantly VISIBLE black aura. Also, your true personality(whether you like it or not) will be unleashed from the deepest and darkest depths of your being. This means some of the things you say or do will no longer be restrained and may be either embarassing or catastrophic to others and yourself . And, as expected, if you're good the first sentence will be the opposite. Ushima, on the other hand and as some of you may have guessed, is an exception to this rule. At first, he is a perfect hybrid of good and evil. This means that he won't necesarily be as inclined to kill or hurt people as he would if he were pure evil. The good inside him only restrains him from being truly evil. The good never really shows unfortunately. And his friends are usually in constant fear of him. When he returns to his normal form he secludes himself and thinks about what he has done. But luckily, he starts changing for the better and he eventually gets more and more restrained from doing sinful things and the good starts to show. Here are some things to know about the angel form: 1. It can be unlocked on command with enough practice 2. It can be activated (only in Ushima's case) when he gets really really angry 3. a person in this form can at least lift 5 tons! 4. a person's psychic and physical strength depends on his/her will and intention whether for good or for evil There you go everyone. Tell me what you think. Cya.
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:11 pm
mattz1010 Joined: 14 Jan 2006 Posts: 885	GWN, I'm quite interested, although I only voted a 7. You can draw anime, correct? I'd like to see some sample pages, this sounds cool. Edit: I saw the drawing, I know how to be a fucking idiot xD Looks like it'd take some time for you to draw the manga unless you simplify the drawings... But hey, quality in manga is good. and you can include some colour pages here and there
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:33 pm
Lawrence_of_Arabia Joined: 08 Jun 2006 Posts: 27	Heres a cool concept plot: 1. Ushima's parent's have died when he was very young (like eight or something) and he has been raised by his grandfather in a remote area of the mountains. His grandfather taught him how to hunt, fish, and fight. 2. Ushima (about 15 by now) goes fishing for dinner. His grandfather has a premonition about an awesome darkness consuming the world, he sees an image of Ushima shrouded in darkness leading the evil behind him. At the end of the premonition Ushima's grandfather suffers a fatal heart attack. His last word is "Ushima!". 3. Ushima returns home and sees his dead grandfather on the ground, his grandfather's death echos that of his mother and father's. Realising he is alone, Ushima cries and runs off into the forest. He stays up all night remembering what his parents and grandfather had taught him and pondering what he should do next. 4. Flash forward 2 weeks as Ushima is about to eat a beetle. He slowly devours the creature than passes out from exhaustion. As he is passed out he dreams of darkness consuming the land and a demon points at him and says "Ushima!". He wakes up frightened and sweaty in a....bed...of all places! He is alone in a house. he walks around asking if anyone is there but no one responds. He steals a sword from the house and runs off. But as he is running he is stopped by a man grabbing onto his neck. He is a huge hulking lumberjack type man. He takes his sword back and tells Ushima that his daughter found him in the forest almost dead. He meets this mans wife and daughter and they talk for hours about...well...I dont know yet. Ushimas appetite and physical srength, which he proudly displays, impresses the daughter and she falls in love with him. That night she comes into his bedroom and tries to kiss him. Ushima, who has never even seen a girl his age (or any woman for 7 years) is frightened by what she is doing and he flees the house without ever saying goodbye. 5. He finds a monastery and runs into it looking for food and a place to sleep. He meets with the leader of the monastery who senses potential psionic abilities in the boy. He trains with them and several other children his age including one girl. He befriends the girl and one of the boys and the three of them become very attached. 2 years go by and Ushima has become a very advanced psionic, but for the past month the grand master of the monastery has been having the same dreams of the darkness, his latest dream ends with the face of the demon leading the darkness becoming visible, and it is Ushima's face. Realising the importance of these premonitions, the old man weilds a golden dagger and approaches Ushima while he is sleeping. In blind defense Ushima uses his psionic abilities to rip a hole straight through the old mans body. "Ushima!" says the old man before he quickly dies. Ushima is disgusted at what he has just done and confused about what has happened. Ushima wakes his best friend to tell him what happened and points to the dead man on the floor. His best friend, who had been raised at the monastery becomes enraged at Ushima for what he has done and tries to kill Ushima, but Ushima knocks him unconscious. 6. Ushima must once again run away and as he is lighting a fire he senses someones presence, using his ninja/psionic skills he apprehends the intruder from behind. It was the girl from the monestary. She tells him the outrage of everyone at the monastery but vows to stand by his side because she doesnt believe that Ushima is capable of doing such a horrible thing. She says that she believes that one of the other elders killed the grandmaster to take control of his authority. Ushima lies and agrees with her that the death of the grandmaster was a conspiracy. They pitch up a tent and sleep next to eachother, but when the girl tries to get closer to him he rolls around and pretends to be asleep. He is disgusted that he lied to her and that the innocent girl is being decieved by him. 7. The two of them make it to a town and decide to settle in for a while becoming hunters and selling the fur and meat of the animals Ushima has caught. Because the girl he is with is so beautiful, men from the town always come to by the fur from her regardless of whether they need it or not. One man in particular flirts with the girl (we'll call her Kay) the most, and Kay seems to flirt back. Ushima becomes jealous and challenges the young man to a fight. Unbeknownst to Ushima, this young man is also a psionic ninja who has trained at another monastery in the far east. Ushima is quickly subdued but the man (lets call him Kobayashi after that japanese kid who can eat alot of hotdogs) admires his courage and abulities and decides to let Ushima live. Ushima comes to respect the man and asks to learn psionic abilities from him. The young man agrees so long as they pay him all of their earnings from the fur trading business. Ushima and Kay meet Kobayashi's apprentice, a handsome and cocky young boy Ushima's age named Mokaru or whatever (Ushima, Kay, and "Mokaru" are all 17ish, and Kobayashi is 19ish). Kobayashi has them doing insane and weird training activities and the four of them sparr often. Kay, who is not the most talented psion usually only trains half way with them and then goes out of her way to cook for the boys and make them feel as comfortable as possible. Strangely, Ushima no longer feels much attraction to Kay as he now views her more as the motherly figure he never had. 8. One day a group of murderous theives plunder and destroy the whole village. Kobayashi tells the kids to run to a secret safe haven and spend the night there as he tries to deal with the bastards. The kids hesatate but eventually honor their master and run to the haven. The next morning they return to the village to see dead body upon dead body, one distinct body still moves in the distance. It is Kobayashi and he is slowly dying. Before he dies he tells mokaru tdig under the floor of their house and retrieve an essential item, he tells mokaru to retrieve the map from his pocket and after they dig up the floor boards and obtain this "special item" they must follow the map to a certain City. Kobayashi dies and the kids cant help but cry. Ushima cant help but notice the look that Kobayashi gives him. The same look that was on the face of the grandmaster before he died. The word "Ushima" is heard by Ushima himself, but no one else can testify that they heard it. 9. Mokaru digs up the floor boards and retrieves kobayashi's sword. With sword in one hand and map in other, Mokaru leads his two friends through many adventures to get to the forest. They meet many people. Especially one rogue child (a homless boy of 15 years old named..."Roki") who wont leave them alone so they decide to let the funny kid tag along. When they reach the city they find that the building in the center is a large school. The four of them enter the school and meet with the principal telling them that Kobayashi sent them. The principal is thrilled, but later saddened to here of Kobayashi's death. He sets up several cots in one of the unused school rooms in the now unused sections of the school. The Principal who we learn later is in debt to Kobayashi because Kobayashi saved his life, allows the children to enroll at the school and study and live there. They become friends with many students and Ushima even runs into the girl from two years back, the one who saved him when he was dying in the forest. The two keep looking at eachother wondering if they are who they think they are. Ushima finally confronts her with his new found confidense with women and they hit it off well. But she has a jealous boyfriend who confronts Ushima and challenges him to a fight. Ushima easily whoops the kids ass and amazes everyone else at school accept for one group of kids who no one ever even looks at, a gang of psionic ninjas. Eventually tensions rise and A huge all out war is waged between Ushima and Mokaru and the gang of ninjas. Ill post more later. Bye bye.
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Posted on Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:55 pm
derricktheone Joined: 29 Jul 2006 Posts: 356	damn that's a long story...I only read 1st 5 1/2 paragraphs...Seems like it's just ok to me...nothing special...but that's just my opinion
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